Real Talk – The Center City Christian

Real Talk – For All Have Sinned

Romans 3:23 NIV

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

I changed the tagline of this blog to An Imperfect Blog because I realized that some of my recent posts were not Giving the Glory to God.

I am human. It took me seven years to read the New Testament in my Life Application Study Bible. I started when I first joined New Wine Fellowship in 2013, and I stopped around the time I left in 2020. I had a few more books to read in therapy, with Dr. Davis, and so I did. Completing Revelation in about 2021.

I am simply a person who applies what I read to my daily life and try to live by it (I was much better at it then) and now I write about it. That’s why the commitment to walk with the Lord is so difficult. It’s easy to fall off.

But Jesus is not the problem. He promises to be “the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8 NIV). The problem is actually us. And the guilt and shame we feel is actually the work of the enemy (Satan). He is the accuser (Revelation 12:10). Religion or its sidekick, legalism, could leave us sidelined from the slightest sin.

God loves all creation. He “sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45) But God detests sin. Hence, the reason for Jesus our Mediator. My pastor gave me advice as an evangelist. Preaching God’s love will not work with everyone. Some will not take that seriously. God’s love and God’s judgement must be preached evenly in order to communicate the seriousness of sin.

But that is why grace is such a wonderful concept. It’s the Good News! Repentance is all that is needed. Transgressions are blotted out (Psalm. 51:1). If you hang out in really biblical circles, it is said that the consequences of each sin still remain. But forgiveness is guaranteed; through the ultimate debt paid on the cross by Jesus Christ.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Real Talk – Thou Shall Not

Romans 3:28 NIV

28 For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.

Has anyone ever tried to live by the Ten Commandments, earnestly? I heard it is impossible.

Real Talk-Where Sin Abounded, Grace Did Much More Abound will tell you all about it. I was a recent devout nondenominational Christian when I wrote that post, strictly biblical.

The reason for Jesus to come to earth as the Perfect Sacrifice was not to abolish the Law of Moses, but to fulfill it. The Ten Commandments represented the law and justice; and Jesus came to fulfill the grace and truth; of God’s nature and will. Grace by faith. The biblical definition of grace is “unmerited favor”.

Propitiation in Christianity describes the weight of the past, present, and future sins of all humanity being forgiven when Jesus hung on the cross—and died—also with the weight of suffocation that comes with death on a crucifix.

The curtain in the temple was torn into two pieces at that moment. Jesus became the Mediator between us and God—our relationship with God was restored. We can approach God’s throne; the Throne of Grace; in repentance:

Hebrews 4:16 NIV

16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Adam and Eve had set in motion the law of sin and death, which through one perspective, was not intended. But the breath of God is his living Word—the Bible—from start to finish (Genesis 1:1-Revelation 22:21); Alpha to Omega. Holy Spirit inspired writings. Think the Apostle Paul—letter writer of most of the New Testament. Colossians has a subchapter explaining how Jesus was involved in the creation (Genesis 1:1-2:3).

So the question is…does Jesus now live in the hearts of believers? Are the Ten Commandments still relevant to Christian life? Absolutely! Are they our conscience barometers?

Real Talk – Stay Prayed Up

Matthew 26:36-46 NIV

36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

Disclaimer: I speak in the second person (you) because a lot of times I am speaking to myself. David used to speak to himself (Psalm 42:5) and found strength in the LORD his God (1 Samuel 30:6). And I give myself “pep talks” similarly. Just a few words spoken out loud, like “Let’s go”. It helps get through the day.

In summary, I do not have a license to preach the gospel, but I could pursue one. I think an exam may be available with the state or I could be sponsored by a church if I continued to go seriously once again.

Why is it important to stay prayed up? Gospel swag? Perhaps a way to make worshiping Jesus cool?

Because there really is a spiritual threat in the atmosphere. It is what you may have been taught at some churches. You may not agree, and spiritually fall asleep, similar to what is mentioned in these verses. Only to be faced with the same problem (potentially) years later. Was the training you received in vain? How long did it take to bring yourself back up to par? Are you the dry bones in Ezekiel 37:1-14 that need the breath of God to come alive and reassemble, piece by piece, becoming an army for the Lord’s purpose once again?

Real Talk – Jesus Wept

John 11:35 NIV

35 Jesus wept.

In John 11:1-44, Jesus wept when he arrived at Mary and Martha. They let Him know that he was late, and Lazarus had died. He began to weep because he cared so deeply. But if you think about it, He needed to be late, because God’s plan all along was for the miracle of Lazarus being raised from the dead.

Is it wrong for a man to cry? Is it a matter of having a high Emotional Quotient? Or the result of being emotionally abused? What makes a sensitive kid? Could a person be put under such duress that the result is tears? Could a narcissistic person weep for another?

I am a man and I cry often. I have no excuse. I try to apply reason to the cause (above 🙄). But really as a Christian, Jesus should be my only model as the ultimate sacrifice. He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).

Grow Up, Charlie Brown

I typed up this short story at the Public Library during my first month in Boston; I may have jotted it down with a pen, on a piece of computer paper beforehand. But it is non-fiction—the life of the broken and homeless.

What goes on in my wild imagination at 2:30 AM? Last night, I was being escorted by Chinese bodyguards—mainy speaking Mandarin or Cantonese—except for four words, “grow up, Charlie Brown.”

When I subscribed to Apple TV, I watched Peanuts. The ones from the 1960’s. Charlie Brown played for and coached a Little League baseball team, but one thing was constant—he always lost. When the team sponsor told him that girls couldn’t play on the team, he had to find a compromise. Kid’s shows were different back then —appreciated problem-solving.

Perhaps it was a recounting of something spoken earlier that evening—naivete—trying to find a compromise with the finances of a Little League baseball team. Nevertheless, it was 2:30 AM and time to find my hotel room—the Chase ATM room—the weather was warmer there.

Perhaps it meant that not everyone’s life is that simple; not everyone’s life is as isolated as mine. Looking for real estate on a desert island or living on a prairie on the border of Texas (no one for miles) are things I romanticize about. Is this the sum of my life experiences?

Life’s lessons learned on the Little League baseball diamond.

Real Talk – Real Testimony

Exodus 33:7 KJV

7 And Moses took the tabernacle, and pitched it without the camp, afar off from the camp, and called it the Tabernacle of the congregation. And it came to pass, that every one which sought the LORD went out unto the tabernacle of the congregation, which was without the camp.

I read about the Exodus from Egypt. After the plagues, Moses led the captive Israelites to the Red Sea where Pharaoh was chasing them. The Red Sea parted for them to pass through, but for 40 more years they wandered around in the desert looking for the promised land. Mainly because they quarreled amongst each other. Manna “bread from heaven” fell from the sky as sustenance from God.

Moses had stage fright. So God chose his brother Aaron to be High Priest. And they built a tent of meeting, which was essentially a traveling place to meet with God. I once saw a Christian counselor, Dr. Ulanda Davis, who referred to this blog as a tent of meeting; after seven years living as a devout nondenominational Christian. But then life caught up to me.

I changed the tagline of this blog to An Imperfect Blog because I realized that my posts stopped giving the glory to God. However, I would not agree that a short, detailed story, with a single link to leave it all behind and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior is giving the glory to myself. At Lehigh Carbon Community College, I was told that details make a good story.

I also grew up with a chronicle appreciation for hip-hop, especially at Kemper. The idea for Real Talk’s original Featured Image artwork was mimicked from Fabolous’ and Lecrae’s 2004 albums, Real Talk. The latter a pioneer in Christian rap certainly, who if not single-handedly, changed my attitude. Much love to Lecrae, 116 & Reach Records.

When the eleven disciples became apostles after they were baptized with the Holy Spirit; Pentecost. Matthias was chosen to replace Judas (Acts 1:12-26). Simon Peter was named Cephas, which in Aramaic means rock, “and on this rock I will build my church.” (Matthew 16:18 NIV) Peter was chosen to preach the Gospel to the Jews, and Paul the Gentiles. So I ask myself, is it acceptable for me to bring the gospel to the streets and not the churches?

Real Talk is a series of personal testimonies. Reflecting on a life lived and applying knowledge learned about the Word of God. Whether to help oneself or others. “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” (Revelation 12:11 KJV)

Real Talk – Made in America 🇺🇸

Matthew 17:20 NIV

20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

What does it mean to be an American? I have always been patriotic, but have also had my moments of skepticism. And my notion of the meaning was weak.

I am a veteran; I served in the U.S. Army for three years. I was not a combat veteran; I served at a training duty station. But I imagine being deployed requires tremendous faith. Is faith the fabric of a soldier’s life?

Prior to, at the time of writing Real Talk – A Series of Unfortunate Events, and lately, my faith has been tested—”confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

How does our faith grow? “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” (Romans 10:17 NIV)

What does our faith produce? Knowing Christ, and the “power of his resurrection” (Philippians 3:10 NIV), the “peace of God, which transcends all understanding” (Philippians 4:7 NIV), and self-confidence that is reinforced by Scripture (Philippians 4:13).

Real Talk – A Series of Unfortunate Events

People change due to circumstances in life. When I attempted suicide on New Year’s Day, 2024, in Los Angeles, CA, I was given an ESV Bible in the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center, and I re-read some verses. Up until that point, my spiritual life had been pretty much dormant. I left my church, New Wine Fellowship in 2020, and immediately created this website. After that, I fell off spiritually, and slowly slipped away form the church. Recently, I have become a thief and a liar. Shoplifting because I do not have any money; getting on a train and flagrantly lying that I bought a NJ Transit ticket, but lost it; and I even stole a bicycle—trying to regain some former glory of a life I once had.

While I was charging my phone at the Moynihan Train Hall in New York City, I decided to scroll through this blog for the first time in years. I read some posts, and read about Jesus surrendering Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46), because His spirit was troubled—and I started to tear up. I have been traveling often, most times not knowing where to go next, and homeless once again since 2023. I used to surrender my will to Jesus every night, kneeling on my bed; praying, protecting my knees from the cement floor and Berber carpet. At some point my life became so busy, that I drifted away from the Lord. I went to an Episcopalian church in Washington DC this summer, but mostly wept the entire time—reminiscing about New Wine Fellowship and how I served the Lord so fervently.

I was placed as Media Director in 2016 and served until I left. There was a rift between us that I never really healed from. I even attended therapy with a Christian counselor for two years, who tried tirelessly to get me to try another church, but I would not budge.

That was probably the last time I surrendered myself to God—becoming self-reliant instead. There are times when I feel a void in that place instead. Most nights I barely get any sleep, waking up early in the AM, if I had not already spent hours droning the street sidewalks instead; wandering tirelessly throughout the day, until it’s time to rest again.

When I think about the days of New Wine and the close relationship I once had with the Creator, I ask myself when will be the next time I surrender myself to my God? When will I reach my end?

Real Talk – Thorn in the Flesh

Saul, an esteemed Pharisee, trained under Gamaliel (Acts 22:3 NIV); an “honored” (Acts 5:34) member of the Sanhedrin whose influence was highly regarded; spoke of “a thorn in the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 12:7 NIV)

Scripture does not tell us what this thorn is, but I think it could have been the murder of Stephen—the first Christian martyr (Acts 7:54-60). As a Pharisee, Paul, whose name at the time was Saul, led a group of men in stoning Stephen for being a follower of Christ. The Pharisee’s were a religious group who did not believe that Jesus was the Son of God—fully human and fully divine (Matthew 22:41-46). Extremely legalistic, they were too close-minded to believe in faith, over the Law of Moses or the Ten Commandments—plus, many man-made laws added to such. The Law became stale, in need of new—a new covenant—grace by faith in Jesus Christ (John 12:42).

I also have thorn in the flesh—or maybe two. Something that would stop a pastor dead in his tracks on the pulpit—just tearing apart a witness to Christ. I sexually abused my cousin and got into a HMMWV in the Army that seriously injured someone else. The lieutenant in my truck had a brain hemorrhage and I did not even visit him in the hospital.

The purpose of this website is to package the gospel in a way that will easily spread it; it is not a business entity, nor does it earn revenue—I actually pay to have it published—in hopes that someone may find eternal life. Evangelism is a lot like sales—and I hate sales 🙂 Which is why a lot of churches use CRM software and other modern sales tactics to keep track of its parishioners. But if you look past it, what the difference for me as the evangelist for my former church (New Wine Fellowship) was bringing someone to Christ—which is a little different than earning a commission—its the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). Maybe a glimmer of hope in someone’s eyes—someone going through something extremely difficult. A moment of epiphany—hold on, all it requires is “faith as small as a mustard seed” (Matthew 17:20 NIV) and God will deliver me from this?

These days I only have enough faith in God to get me through the day. But it works for me.

Real Talk – The Great Commission

Matthew 28:18-20 KJV

18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

The Great Commission: Jesus Christ; given all power in heaven and on earth by God, who died for the sins of all people from all nations, tells us to make more disciples—teaching the Good News, baptizing new believers in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

What is baptism? My Life Application® Study Bible says: “. . . immersion was the usual form of baptism—that is, new Christians were completely ‘buried’ in water. They understood this form of baptism to symbolize the death and burial of the old way of life. Coming up out of the water symbolized resurrection to new life with Christ.” (Note Romans 6:1-4) “Baptism symbolizes submission to Christ, a willingness to live God’s way, and identification with God’s covenant people.” (Note Matthew 28:19[2])

The Great Commission is not optional but a command for all believers. We are to obey and teach others to obey Christ. Each time we choose to take a step in obedience, it results in authenticity (Psalm 139:14-18)! God has designed us as disciples to share the gospel—use your talents! And walk in obedience knowing that Jesus will be with you always!

Image by Eberhard Grossgasteiger via Freely Photos